By Von RI Summer Snow CD (as dictated to Vonnie Taylor)

I finally did it! I killed the Suck-U-Up! The humans call it a vacuum cleaner, but being dogs, we call it like it is. That thing is really a predator! It sucks the unwary dog up into its bowels NEVER TO BE SEEN OR HEARD AGAIN! That’s why every dog I’ve ever known either tries to kill it or runs and hides when the Suck-U-Up comes out to eat. The humans act like they’re controlling it, but I don’t think so. They sure have a lot of trouble getting it to stop eating! Almost never does until it’s sated, then it goes back into its den. That’s why, for my entire 11 years, whenever I’ve gotten the chance, I’ve tried to kill the Suck-U-Up living at our house. Now that I’ve finally succeeded in killing one, I want every dog to know IT CAN BE DONE!

You know how Suck-U-Ups hunt. They come out from behind a wall somewhere and search the house, scavenging whatever they can reach. Most adults are fairly safe from Suck-U-Ups. If you reach adulthood in a house where one lives, you’ve learned how to survive, either by fleeing or defending yourself. I’m sure they eat puppies regularly. If you have a Suck-U-Up at your house and members of your pack ever have pups, you’ve seen the proof. Think how often puppies disappear after a Suck-U-Up’s been out hunting.

I’ll tell you how I killed the one at my house. It may help you do in the one at yours. The Suck-U-Up came out to hunt one evening. My mistress grabbed it and held on-humans are generally good providers, but they’ve really forgotten how to defend their pack against predators! I ran into the room and began my attack. I concentrated on its head and neck. That usually scares it away, but today I got lucky. (Persistence really does pay off!) Suddenly it stopped snarling! It continued to make those sucking sounds, but no more snarling. I’d weakened it considerably! The mistress was then able to make it stop sucking. She checked it over thoroughly. She found great masses of shredded paper and hair that it couldn’t swallow. Sky says it probably choked to death rather than dying from injuries from my attack, but he’s just mad because I, not he, was the one who killed it. And, anyway, I helped the puppies spread the shredded paper it choked on. The mistress cleared that stuff away from its throat. It tried to eat again, but without growling at us. Fortunately, it was very weak and near death. The mistress silenced it again and began to tear it open (with one of those fancy teeth, from their special boxes, that they use rather than their very poor planteater teeth.) It just lay there. It didn’t growl or try to hunt anymore, didn’t even slink back into the wall. I overheard the mistress telling others the Suck-U-Up was indeed dead.

Unfortunately, there are lots of Suck-U-Ups, at least one per house. Less than a week after I killed the one (I was certain their was only one) living in our house, I discovered the mistress trying to restrain another one! You can kill them, with perseverance attacks-and some shredded paper; but you’ll get no rest. Another will move right in to take over the dead one’s territory, and you’ll have to start fighting, all over again, against this new one!